i never really appreciate my health until i get so sick that i can barely get out of bed.
feeling almost completely better now.
i’m incredibly thankful that i’m as healthy as i am today, despite the stress i’ve put my body through over the last 21 years. with all my impulsive (usually bad) decisions, addictions, and my tendency to take unnecessary risks in almost any situation, i’m a little surprised my body hasn’t turned on me by now. a few months ago i would’ve dwelled on all the “what ifs” and beat myself up about how i’ve never really put much effort into taking care of myself (even when i was making “healthy” decisions, everything was an extreme, and i seemed to lack the ability to do anything in moderation). but now i just look back at all my stupidity and realize that i survived my own insanity. im still young and i still have a life to live. i have hopes and dreams and a way to accomplish them. i have a home, a job, a car, food to eat, clothes to keep me warm, etc. etc…
but most importantly, i have people i love who have put up with my bullshit for years and who still love me and care about me despite my flaws.
its times like this that i actually see how different of a person i am. my past is what it is, and theres nothing i can do to change it. now i use it as motivation to make something of my life, take care of myself, be thankful for everything i’m lucky enough to have, and most importantly: cherish the people i love.
that is all for now i suppose. time to finish my sociology paper.