Tag Archives: numb

i care so much it hurts

im not the jealous type
but all of a sudden i feel envy creeping into my mind
im terrified of falling
of all that lovey-dovey bullshit

the more i fight it, the more you stay on my mind
why cant i just turn it off
make myself numb
stop caring
or at least stop these feelings
fuck these feelings
i hate these feelings
cuz i cant shake these feelings
im used to being numb
numb was the safest thing
who cares if i wasn’t happy? at least i wasn’t sad. at least my heart wasn’t torn to shreds…cuz honestly i’ve had quuuuiiiiiittttteeee enough of that.
numbness was my protection
so how the fuck did i let this happen
how could i let you in, past all my defenses, past all my walls
how could i let you close enough to steal my heart
and fly away with it
leaving me here.
on my own again…
alone again…
as i continued to fall
and fall and

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Torn Apart

when i got the phone call
him saying goodbye
i held back my sadness
held back my cries
my release was unspoken
because tears don’t always work
hiding behind smiles and giggles and smirks

my hurt on the inside numbed
by another strong pain
but my cover, un-broken
as i played my own game

no one really knows
how i got over him
no one really knows
why i have scars on my skin
i’m the only one who knows
those scars represent my heart
battered and beaten and completely torn apart

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dear me

dear me,

stop making stupid decisions
stop wanting things you cant have
stop trying to tell him you fell in love with him when you already broke his heart
stop pretending that its not too late
stop acting like you know what youre doing
stop feeling
stop having feelings for him
stop caring
make yourself numb
you’ll hurt less people that way
that way you wont cause any harm
that way you cant get hurt either
but i guess thats what you get, right?
you broke his heart before
and now you broke your own
but unlike his,
yours might not grow back

over and out,

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