Tag Archives: insomnia

Zombie wine


I don’t know why, but wine always seems to clear my mind.
I wonder if the world knows that hallucinations aren’t limited to schizophrenia and drug abuse.. ..

Sometimes shit just happens.
Sometimes sleep is not an option
Sometimes your body retaliates in a really fucked up manner

But I refuse to give up on myself

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writer’s block


f

u

u

u

u

u

c

k

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

sidenote: WHY THE FUCK WONT WORDPRESS LET ME INDENT SHIT BY PRESSING TAB?

sorry. that was a lot more aggressive than it needed to be.

I’ve gone a bit overboard with redbull and quitting smoking is making me a very unpleasant person. not an excuse; just context.

 

that is all.

 

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I FINALLY HAD ONE GOOD NIGHT OF SLEEP


i finally had ONE FULL NIGHT of decent sleep thanks to an amazing friend who distracted me and helped me relax enough to fall asleep.

the first few hours were the same as every other night recently, but it was helpful to have someone there to calm me down when i woke up terrified and out of breath, with my heart racing like i was binging on coke and speed. when i finally fell back to sleep i was able get almost 8 hours of sleep with no crazy dreams (at least none that i remembered when i woke up).

since then, the dreams have started getting a little better.

maybe all i needed was to stop trying to handle everything on my own and reach out for help from people who care about me. asking for help has never been an easy thing for me, especially because im incredibly stubborn and i feel like i should do everything for myself. i’ve lived most of my life believing that asking for help was a form of weakness. if it was a friend asking ME for help, i never saw it that way. it was only “true” if it were ME asking for help. of course i knew this wasn’t rational at all, but it was just something that i believed for so long that its still had to let go of at times.

i’m lucky to have friends that tolerate my stubbornness and help me through shit like this, sometimes without even realizing what they’re doing at all.

i’m hoping that now that the dreams are getting a little better, i’ll be able to figure out what caused me to start having them in the first place.

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CoffeeBlood


Can’t sleep. Mind racing. Sometimes I feel like my blood is really coffee. Coffee and redbull. insane amounts of caffeine pumping through my veins. Maybe i’m just hyper. Maybe i’m manic. Who cares? At least I got my homework done. Work in a few hours. Kinda wish I could sleep before then but so far i’ve had no luck. No more coffee before bed. Apparently my body isn’t a immune to caffeine as it used to be.

Not really sure what the point of this was. Goodnight world.

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