Tag Archives: heart

you did this

i tried to write you a letter
to tell you how i feel
tell you of the butterflies in my stomach
of the way i squeal when i see a letter from you in the mail
of the hollow space in my heart when you’re away
of the countless times that i think of you every single day
i tried to write you a letter…
but i couldn’t find the words to tell you
what words could never explain

you know that feeling you get
on a roller-coaster
as you’re flipped upside down
before a drop so steep and fast you feel as though you’re about to hit the ground
defying gravity as you’re whisked right back up high in the air

stomach in knots
pulse racing
heart skipping a couple beats
that adrenaline rush
is only a fraction
of these feelings i’ve got

you make me feel alive again
you make all good things better
you spark a light that shines in me
and i know that sounds so damn cliché,
but oh well,
who cares,

when it comes to you i dont know what it is that comes over me
i trip over my words
like im dancing with 2 left feet
i dont care what people think
i dont give a damn what they say
i dont give 2 shits if im vulnerable
because you’re worth any risk that i could take

i tried to write you a letter…
but words still could not describe
the feelings that i have for you
these feelings hiding inside
all i know is when i think of you
my smile is so much brighter
so i threw away my failed attempt at a letter
and instead ill send you a telepathic hug and kiss
and a picture of my smile
with a note attached, saying…
“hey you…
you did this.”

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my apology

dear heart,

im sorry.

i promise to never trust anyone ever again.

im sorry i fell for him.

im sorry he doesnt even know.

im sorry i let myself be vulnerable, let you be vulnerable.

im sorry youve been broken so many times.

im sorry you are covered in scar tissue.

im sorry that i kept going back to the boy who repeatedly stabbed you and tore you apart, all for the fun of watching me fall apart time and time again.

im sorry for not realizing sooner that he was only a boy, when i needed a man.

im sorry that it took years to even begin to get past everything he put me through.

im sorry that i finally gave myself a chance to move on and trust again.

im sorry that that was a mistake.

im sorry that trusting people is always a mistake.

im sorry i thoguht i could have a chance.

im sorry i thought i could have a chance at love.

or something close to it.

something like it.

lust, like, love, crush, whatever it was, i thought maybe i could actually have it.

im sorry i fell for someone who didnt abuse me.

im sorry i fell for him and fell fast and hard.

im NOT sorry for finally ending things with an abusive sociopath.

im NOT sorry for telling him that i was done and i was moving on.

im sorry that it didnt last long.

im sorry i let down my guard.

im sorry there were sparks.

im sorry there was chemistry.

im sorry he understands me.

im sorry his smile gives me chills.

im sorry his touch sends shivers down my spine.

im sorry his eyes saw right through the fake smile on my face.

im sorry im not perfect.

im sorry he is.

im sorry for everything.

i promise, i will never ever trust again.



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