lying to yourself [work in progress]

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A WORK IN PROGRESS. I STARTED IT 2 YEARS AGO AND FINALLY PICKED IT UP AGAIN THIS WEEK. i still haven’t gotten it to accurately reflect the situation I’m trying to describe…which is frustrating as hell because I’ve rewritten it dozens of times. i guess i just can’t find the right words. since it doesn’t say what i want it to say, i decided to focus on the actual writing, describing circumstances similar to what i was originally aiming for.

 

lying to yourself (not just you two)

 

“even the best fall down sometimes”

but how do you get yourself back up

when it seems as though all odds are against you?

you’re smart pretty funny and sweet but you push away any good guy that you meet

its so hard to let people in because your past became a wall

a wall around your heart made up of scars ten feet tall

you fight and you fight trying to figure it out

trying to avoid getting hurt only made the pain linger around

but you fight and you fight and then you let someone in

only to watch him fly away across the fucking world again

 

so you hide and you cry and you swear “never again”

then he comes back and you’re finally reunited

only thing is, things aren’t that simple between you two

and now you’ve gotta face it…he’s not involved with just you.

 

you cant lie

cant say that seeing him doesnt make you smile

cant try and say that he cant brighten up your day

cant lie and tell youself that when your in his arms you dont feel safe

the lies wont protect you from getting hurt again

you already love him you can’t just pretend

so how do you deal with it…

he doesn’t do relationships

give up?

give in?

just accept it?

 

you tried to fight the feelings

tell yourself its a crush, nothing else

knowing all along you want more

you cant keep lying to yourself

you know that you love him and you know he loves you

so how do you deal when its not just you two?

 

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