sometimes the aftermath of a breakdown can be good. for instance, while cleaning up the disastrous mess i made yesterday, i found the bowl and the bong that i bought a long time ago but never got to use because they got lost in the move. yay.
I’m currently kind of numb…ish…i guess
I’m trying to stay productive so i don’t flip out again (like i did when my friend asked me if i was ok today)
worked a few extra hours, doing some organizing and random cleaning, lots of laundry, throwing a ton of shit away
but every now and then it all hits me like a ton of bricks