apparently i have a type?

personality wise…a cross between dean winchester, jax teller, roy harper, and daryl dixon?
i guess i see it. they are 4 of my favorite tv characters
but i didn’t really realize i had a type until a friend pointed that out…..

charismatic asshole
with a past
hides emotions while wearing them on his sleeve (don’t ask, i can’t explain it)
can also beautifully express thoughts/feelings if he chooses to
tough exterior doesn’t always match what’s going on inside his head
passionate
stubborn
fights for beliefs
always has your back
loyal

…and (preferably) has a fun/goofy/ridiculous side

because while i don’t care if people judge me when i do things like this , it would be pretty sweet to not always do it on my own lol

update: the more i think about it, i think my main deal-maker/breaker is they have to be a fighter. whether than means fighting evil, fighting supernatural shit, fighting bad guys, fighting  for someone/something meaningful, or fighting against something wrong…whatever it is, i love a fighter.

i think the real reason behind that is (to me) the ideal man is someone who will…

A. call me out on my shit. i know I’m hardheaded and i know i have my moments when I’m not exactly rational (to say the least) or just completely bullshitting everything. walking on eggshells enables and provokes me at the same time. I’m not saying its anyone’s responsibility to call me out on my shit. its my responsibility to get/keep it together. but in the case that I revert back to defense mechanisms like my psycho-bitch mode, manipulative-bitch mode, emotional shutdown mode, etc, calling me out (even just saying AY YOURE BEING A FUCKING [PSYCHO] BITCH RIGHT NOW) is the best thing anyone can do for me. at that point i have to decide whether i want to stay stuck or face whatever it is that I’m trying to defend myself from. the people that have helped me most in my darkest moments have just been blunt with me. a lot of the time when I’m in a place like that, being blunt/brutally honest is the only way to get through my thick skull.

B. challenge me when i need to be challenged (basically same as above, but more broad–sometimes i think i rule the world and need to be gently knocked off whatever pedestal I’ve climbed onto)

C. not hesitate to do whats right or stand up for whats right (especially if I’m wrong) standing up against whats wrong or fighting for whats right is not as easy as it sounds, especially if it seems like the whole world is against you. holding your ground and fighting for what you believe in (or who you believe in) is one of the greatest strengths i think any person could have, especially if that means being able to disagree with loved ones and/or challenge the arguments/views of someone as stubborn as me. not saying you HAVE to disagree with me, but if you do, you should be able to have a meaningful/intellectual discussion/debate with me about that disagreement.

D. will understand my crazy-sounding ranting and passionate thoughts/feelings/actions relating to issues i care about (e.g. feminist rants, anti slut shaming rallying/protests, loud/outward/public refusal to let the government govern my uterus or my body in general, demands for equality for EVERYONE not just people accepted by general society, refusal to conform to societal and social norms if i disagree with them, being so upset about something/some social issue that i have trouble controlling myself and start screaming like a maniac, creative forms of protest that may be seen by society as excessive/insane/inappropriate, etc.) i may seem crazy and over-the-top sometimes, but if you can understand why i get like that about certain issues (whether or not you agree with me or my behavior), that goes a long way.

anyway.

just a thought. or 2. or whatever.

back to my post-final-exam-netflix-binge-watching-celebration.

UPDATE PART 2…

did i basically just describe the eye of the tiger? is that the reason why its one of my favorite songs of all time?! AND THE SONG IN THE VIDEO THAT PROVOKED THIS POST IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?! i literally did not even think about this until JUST now. *faceplam*

oops

*facepalm*

damnit i always do that.

ok I’m done now

back to netflix

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