a while back i made a list

“how to realize you’re shutting down even when you’re being a stubborn fucking bitch”

only problem is stubborn me doesn’t like being called stubborn, and decided to ignore the list for the past few months

  • acting “happy” for no reason
  • blowing off class
  • half-assing papers
  • not preparing for exams at all (when you’ve done NONE of the reading and spaced out in nearly every class)—EVEN IF YOU STILL GET AN A
  • not leaving the apartment for multiple days (unless its crazy cold)
  • finding broken shit and not remembering how it got broken
  • excessive throwing of phone
  • ignoring friends
  • losing time
  • numbness
  • not getting out of bed for 3 days (especially if followed by obsessive exercise)
  • not finishing anything no matter how much adderall you take
  • —-except for full seasons of tv shows…watching a full season straight in one day is NOT NORMAL and NOT HEALTHY

 

for some reason, even once i stopped being a stubborn shit, getting back on my feet is proving to be a lot harder this time.

losing time

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