one day i will learn to stop procrastinating.
i just hope its before i graduate or have to drop out of school.
here’s to the night
this would be easier if i wasn’t sober
or if i could switch up this manic bullshit and actually be productive and as invincible as i felt a couple hours ago… instead of trying to focus on finishing this damn paper when i have all this irritating restless energy and im trying incredibly hard to avoid spontaneous combustions of rage [as if i weren’t enough of an irritable bitch to begin with. hah. fuck you universe]
im getting sick of pretending im calm and collected when all i want to do is destroy shit
WHICH REMINDS ME
conversation i had in class this week!!YAYBITCHES
smug-idiot-person: [[after rambling for over 5 minutes about how screwed up people with bpd are and how its pointless to try to help them because they “aren’t worth saving”]] its simple. borderline is just a nice way of saying, this person is so fucking nuts that there is no way to put them in just one category. they’re psycotic and needy and they just want attention. thats all there is to the pathology. whiney needy attention whores who cant handle not being the world’s top priority.
me: way to fight the stigma *smh* soooo much confidence despite the fact that the whole point of the case study AND the dsm criteria clearly just went in one ear and out the other, not to mention casually overlooking the fact that they are human beings
me: oh really? so they’re differnet from you and that makes them less human?
smug-idiot-person: more or less
me: you do realize thats the same kind of thinking that leads to genocides, right?
smug-idiot-person: no need to get all preach-y, we’re not at church, ya know. all i said was borderlines are barely human because of how they act. theyre not like us. theyre not normal.
me: 1. im jewish. 2. fuck you. 3. normal is boring and also its total bullshit 4. you dont know me, don’t group me in with dumbfucks like you 5. would you even have the balls to say that kind of shit to their face?
smug-idiot-person [[staring like a fucking deer in headlights]]: uhhwhat?
me: CLEARLY not. but GUESS WHAT? ..you just met an alien from planet borderline.
and then i walked out of class. im honestly surprised that i didn’t completely go off on him and break his face, but somehow i maintained a relatively calm composure.
but yeah. thats the kind of week im having.