nobody likes you when you’re 23

minus getting caught in the pouring rain with no umbrella or jacket or anything of the sort, plus my anxiety attack and complete mental breakdown; my birthday turned out pretty decent this year… which is a great improvement considering my shit-luck and how uneventful the past few birthdays have been. i never really expect much from my birthday because i suck at planning shit and i don’t really make a big deal out of it, so expecting epicness would likely just lead to disappointment. but the fact that it was pole week was pretty awesome. definitely have a shit-ton of bruises from attempting new upside down tricks, but as usual pole bruises are totally worth it. partying this past weekend was a great way to lead up to my birthday; surrounded by great friends, lots of hugs, and drunk speeches (no, not MY drunk speeches), plus the awesome cake my mommy bought for us; and work was surprisingly tolerable for a monday morning so that helped. plus all the texts, calls, and fb posts and messages made me feel all warm and fuzzy and shit 🙂 lol

overall it was definitely better than i expected, which was a nice surprise, and i was happy most of the day.

now i just have to deal with the fact that im currently FAILING AT LIFE and i need to get my shit together. but since there’s nothing i could do right this second that would make that any better, i’m going to make a GOOD decision for once and GO TO SLEEP because apparently normal people sleep more than 2 hours a night and i have to leave for work in less than 5 hours.

i’m kind of a wreck still (tends to happen post-mental-breakdown) but im going to get back on my feet… somehow… not sure how yet, but hopefully i’ll figure it out sooner rather than later. after all, a wise man and a wise alien both taught me that there is no try; there is only do. so im going to sleep so i can learn to use the force to get my shit back together and save the world (well…not really save the world…more like save my sanity, if there’s any of it left)

so yeah. i’m 2 years away from being a quarter of a century, and i’m years behind where i wanted to be by now, but i just have to accept that and DO SOMETHING to change it instead of obsessing over the fact that everyone around me seems to be moving forward while i struggle to catch up in school while attempting to maintain some level of sanity plus a full-time job….

ok im done rambling and repeating the same shit over and over.

really going to bed now.

goodnight world.

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