my legs are swollen and bruised.

the gash in my arm throbbing as if the pain were a cipher that might crack the code of how the hell all of this happened…

i’ve tested 5 foundations and 7 concealers so far.. none of them come close to covering the deep bruises on my face.

i feel like im drowning.

chaotic spinning and manic crescendo

did this just happen?

i must have imagined the whole thing.

i must’ve fallen. i’d been drinking so it’s not that far of a stretch.

i don’t remember anything after i bolted from that alley.

is this my blood on my sleeve?….or is it his?

will this cut on my arm scar?….what about his?

why can’t i remember his face?

why can’t i remember how this happened?

why is my mind playing these tricks on me?

why didn’t i do anything to make sure he didn’t try the same shit with anyone else?

why can’t i speak about this out loud?

i swear sometimes i just feel like i’m losing my mind


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