facing my fears

what are the 3 scariest things in the entire world?

 

SPIDERS.

VULNERABILITY.

LOVE.

 

 

the crazy part is, i kinda knew he knew i love him. or at least had some idea. its pretty obvious. a friend of ours makes a point to call me out on it almost every time i see him. my girls make fun of me for trying to deny it after talking about him for hours with a giant smile on my face.

yet saying it outloud to him was TERRIFYING

i was literally shaking.

my heart was beating so hard i thought it was going to break through my ribs and out of my chest.

 

vulnerability is not something i handle well.

 

but sometimes, you just have to face your fears. and for once in my life i know it was worth it. and i know im worth it.

no one else in the world makes me feel this way. no one ever has.

im laughing at myself for being this cheezy or whatever, but when i FINALLY told him, i felt like a giant boulder was lifted off of my shoulders.

no more hiding from my feelings.

im learning now that i don’t need to be numb.

no one else makes me this happy. and even though i havent always been the greatest person in the world and i do stupid shit and make mistakes and fuck up every now and again….i deserve this happiness. and i hope that i can make him as happy as he makes me.

 

those three words were so terrifying to me a few days ago

but regardless of my fears, the words are true. and have been for quite some time now.

i couldnt continue to hold in how i felt. and with him, i can be vulnerable, because the one place that i truly feel completely safe is in his arms. so he held me and i somehow mustered up the courage to say what i have been feeling for so long.

i love you.

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