til i die [[work in progress]]

its like you carved your name into my heart
and made sure it would never heal
it bled and bled for years and then morphed into a scar
but i still try to forget
i try to forget
i try to run and hide,
to push the thought of you aside,
i try to dodge the memories
but they seem to always win
and every now and then i miss you
tell me, will this ever end?
i hate you for the pain you caused
and how you wouldn’t let me go
how you tried and tried to control me and my life
of course i fought back, at least i tried,
but you always fought harder,
and found countless ways to wound my pride
i thought we’d keep going, going forever,
forever, or at least until we died.

now that ive finally broken free, why does part of me wish that you still wanted me?

why does it make me upset that your moving on with your life?
do you think about me like im thinking about you, when im up late through sleepless nights?

do you miss the fun we used to have, before it all went wrong?
i miss the feeling of having someone..though i never really had you..and i knew that all along..

so now i sit here. holding my scarred and battered heart.
tears in my eyes as i try to forget you
in the end,
i’m all alone,
still fighting,
til i die.

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