jealousy

for some reason
im jealous
even though we’re not together
and i technically have no reason to be
i am

and theres a part of me that worries that maybe you’ll choose her
decide that she’s the one you want
the one you’ll commit to
the one who will win your heart
because its pretty clear
and anyone can see
that both her and i
want the same thing

devil on my shoulder says “fuck that bitch”
“jus tell him he should pick you; cuz she aint shit”
but what if she’s good for him? what if he wants her and not me?
what if me and him are just not meant to be?
i broke his heart before, what if he hasn’t forgiven me?
what if he thinks she’s prettier than i am?
what if they have more fun together than we could ever have?
what if she’s better..
better than me?
what if im not good enough?
thats my greatest fear indeed
not good enough
not good enough for him
not good enough for me
not good enough for anyone
i dont want to be alone
i dont want to lose him

but how can i lose something
that i dont truly have?
how can i know how he feels
if i never ask?

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