venting… [white noise]

anger?
thats an understatement
fighting yelling screaming…

from another state

you try to tell me how to live
and claim you taught me how to love
but i think you really taught me how to hate

i really need a fucking vacation from you
need an eternal break
when i do something for myself
you blow my phone up just to try to say
whatever it is that you think will send me over the edge

why do i even bother trying to relax?
you always seem to ruin it
im across the country and somehow you still find a way to get to me
saying i should come home early
because who knows what i could be out here doing
but the thing is
i dont need your approval and i sure as hell dont seek it
im not your girl
not your bitch
not the fucking mother of your baby
why dont you stop harassing me and
get that fucking slut in check

oh wait thats why you do this
cuz you feel safe if youre arguing with me
because i used to be the one who was there no matter what and put up with all your bullshit and let you walk all over me
you think you can still do this shit and think that you wont lose me?
that’s where you’ll find that youre mistaken
cuz to me,
all you are is history

i need a motherfucking change
god damn i fucking hate you
and how i let you torture me
manipulating me for years but i tell ya boy that chapter’s finally closed and i just need to put it past me
and walk away
but somehow you still find ways to piss me off enough to send me through the roof and back
i hate how i let you push me into this neverending rage
i just wanna get away
just wanna find some escape
you think you can manipulate me
think you still know everything that goes on in my head
stop trying to control me boy
your not my fucking man
shit youre not even a man
still a child its insane
thought you woulda grown up at least a little bit and stopped with all the games
so get the hell out of my face
go somewhere else with all that noise
just leave me the hell alone
cuz youre no longer in my life.
its time i finally tune you out completely
now youre voice is nothing but white noise

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